This is expertly defined by the common example of applying your oxygen mask first in an airplane emergency. If you fall unconscious then you are unable to help anyone else. By saving yourself first, you increase the options of people who will be helped by you, including your children or other loved ones.
This is a difficult concept for many people to grasp. Of course we would “save” our child first! But this is not the best option. By saving yourself first, such as emotional and physical healing, you are better able to save those around you, with healing, love and support. Everyone is better off if you are safe, stable and emotionally healthy. You will be stronger for everyone. You may lead by example and teach others how to promote emotional health and wellbeing.
The difference in teachers is profound. Some are knowledgeable, well-versed, organized and able to get their point across. Others are disorganized, unreliable and emotionally limited. Which type will teach better? The organized one with experience and emotional stability.
Any leader will have better results if they have done their homework, are receptive to variables, truly wish to promote the success of others and resist any breakdown in communication.
What happens when you challenge a leader who does not have any stability? They react poorly. They may lash out, make you the cause of the problem, become distant, lose their focus, appear undone or ignore the breakdown in communication. These are not positive reactions. They lack the strength to teach and lead.
Your intention is to be the better leader/teacher. Through emotional strength and stability you will withstand many conflicts. Faith will show others how grounded and resilient you are. They will lower their defensiveness and be more available to you. You have saved yourself first. Who must you lead? Many people. Most are likely children, coworkers, family members, community members and so on…
We have mentioned many times that you came into this life to teach and to learn. Both sides of the coin. What you are not accepting is that you may lead others and NOT be their parent, boss or partner. Even brief encounters may have the potential to help, improve or benefit someone. Please do not be so literal. God has never sent anyone to earth to live in isolation and not impact those around them. This is part of your life.
You may have positive influences on others and negative ones. The list of these influences would be as expected. Are you a better leader by showing others to steal and commit fraud or by encouraging others to volunteer for charity? Very few things in life are black and white but this list is one of them. Be good, do good. Show others to be good and do good as well. Easier said than done.
The hard part is healing yourself. You have to pick apart many layers of pain and turmoil and resolve them enough in order to be whole. A lot of cleansing and forgiveness is needed. Seeing people as fallible will help. Sometimes loved ones behave in certain ways because that is all they know. You are capable of the same missteps. This doesn’t make you a bad person either. It only means that you and them are still learning and have not found a better way yet. With age usually comes wisdom but this is not guaranteed.
Many people who have been asked if they could would they return to a younger age? Often, the answer if yes but only if I could know what I know now. Many people see that they have made some mistakes along the way. The people who have harmed you may also realize it now. BUT, you must not wait for someone to acknowledge their wrong doing or apologize. You will waste too much time waiting for something that may never happen. Learn to be whole on your own. Just you. This is when you have healed enough to help others to heal as well. Everyone will benefit from your stability.
Immediate healing would take releasing all harmful memories, negative thinking, flushing any dark or muddy energy and complete faith in God. Most people find it much harder than that. Any guide, whether here on earth or on the Other Side, would suggest small, manageable steps since the changes are easier to maintain. Do your best to not fall back into your old habits. The more clarity and light you achieve, the easier the journey becomes.